Below are four possible scenarios which involve conflict between a child and a parent. With each scenario we have provided a possible explanation as to why the child has chosen to act the way that he or she has chosen in the given situation. Hopefully these will help with any future confrontations that you may have with your child, or they may even help you to prevent them from happening...
1. You are walking through a local grocery store and see the following interaction between a parent and child: The parent and child are in the checkout line. The child requests a candy bar and the parent says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea–we're meeting Gamma and Pap for dinner tonight at a restaurant, and I don't want to ruin your appetite." The child begins to whine and scream that s/he wants the candy bar "now!"
The parents most likely use emotion dismissal whenever the child shows any type of emotion, so the child is not used to hearing, "No." If the child is used to getting what they want, then hearing, "No," would only evoke a negative response. The child also most likely has a difficult temperament, so they probably have a problem with self soothing.
2. A parent and child are in a craft store. The child has a packet of stickers in his hand. In one of the aisles of the store, the child removes a glass vase from a shelf, and the mother politely asks the child to put it back. The child fails to comply, so the mother says, "I'm going to count to five, and if you don't put the vase back, then you're going to lose the stickers." The child again fails to comply, so the mother requests that the child give the stickers back. The child refuses and ultimately the mother removes the stickers from the child's hand. The child begins to scream and call his mother names, and when the mother lifts the child to remove him from the store, he begins to hit and bite her.
The child has problems with emotion regulation which is probably the cause of his parents' use of emotion dismissal whenever he shows any type of negative emotion. He isn't old enough to understand emotion, so he can't describe how he feels, resulting in him throwing a huge fit. The child also shows signs of negative affectivity because of the severity of the tantrum.
3. Two children are playing at recess on a playground. One child is bouncing a ball. The other child goes up to the first child, pushes him down, and takes the ball away.
The violent child is jealous of the other with the ball and doesn't have good control of his emotions, so he just attacks the other child to take what he wants instead of asking for it of asking to share.
4. You work in a department store. One day you see a mother and her young daughter in the toy section. The child is whining about how she wants a book because she is so "bored" with all the books that she has at home. The mother ignores the child's request. The child whines about the book from the "book aisle" into the next aisle. In the next aisle, the child begins to whine about needing some new clothes for her doll baby because her old clothes are "boring." The mother responds with, "You have a lot of clothes for your baby, perhaps another day." The child escalates her whining and continues to whine into the next aisle. In the next aisle, the child begins to whine that she needs some new games because her games are all "boring." The mother quickly grabs a pack of "Go Fish" cards and hands them to the child. The child smiles brightly.
The mother first tries to use emotional dismissing by ignoring the child. The child kept using the same excuse until the mother gave in and gave her the game.
The parents most likely use emotion dismissal whenever the child shows any type of emotion, so the child is not used to hearing, "No." If the child is used to getting what they want, then hearing, "No," would only evoke a negative response. The child also most likely has a difficult temperament, so they probably have a problem with self soothing.
2. A parent and child are in a craft store. The child has a packet of stickers in his hand. In one of the aisles of the store, the child removes a glass vase from a shelf, and the mother politely asks the child to put it back. The child fails to comply, so the mother says, "I'm going to count to five, and if you don't put the vase back, then you're going to lose the stickers." The child again fails to comply, so the mother requests that the child give the stickers back. The child refuses and ultimately the mother removes the stickers from the child's hand. The child begins to scream and call his mother names, and when the mother lifts the child to remove him from the store, he begins to hit and bite her.
The child has problems with emotion regulation which is probably the cause of his parents' use of emotion dismissal whenever he shows any type of negative emotion. He isn't old enough to understand emotion, so he can't describe how he feels, resulting in him throwing a huge fit. The child also shows signs of negative affectivity because of the severity of the tantrum.
3. Two children are playing at recess on a playground. One child is bouncing a ball. The other child goes up to the first child, pushes him down, and takes the ball away.
The violent child is jealous of the other with the ball and doesn't have good control of his emotions, so he just attacks the other child to take what he wants instead of asking for it of asking to share.
4. You work in a department store. One day you see a mother and her young daughter in the toy section. The child is whining about how she wants a book because she is so "bored" with all the books that she has at home. The mother ignores the child's request. The child whines about the book from the "book aisle" into the next aisle. In the next aisle, the child begins to whine about needing some new clothes for her doll baby because her old clothes are "boring." The mother responds with, "You have a lot of clothes for your baby, perhaps another day." The child escalates her whining and continues to whine into the next aisle. In the next aisle, the child begins to whine that she needs some new games because her games are all "boring." The mother quickly grabs a pack of "Go Fish" cards and hands them to the child. The child smiles brightly.
The mother first tries to use emotional dismissing by ignoring the child. The child kept using the same excuse until the mother gave in and gave her the game.
Warning: Video contains offensive language.